Flies

Flies are a good example of everything wrong with Nature: it allows all manner of horrible, awful creature to run around and thrive in muck.

Shame on you, Nature.

Why even get into it? There’s no way to argue that flies have any kind of redeeming qualities whatsoever. They buzz, land on garbage, and bite. They are filthy, horrible, awful bugs. Synonymous with disease, given to mischief, and without any sense of propriety, flies deserve our deepest scorn.

Nature’s secret shame.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, rub, rub, rub, fly, fly, fly, ANNOY, ANNOY, ANNOY. Thus is the life of a fly.

Sure, you say, but what about biodiversity? Feh to biodiversity.

A great first step towards fixing what ails the world would be to get rid of flies.

GRADE: N/A (F-)

P.S. Allegedly maggots (fly babies) are useful in medicine because they eat dead (gangrenous) tissue while leaving the living tissue alone. This doesn’t even come close to making up for how horrible flies are.

2 responses to “Flies

  1. perhaps it should also be pointed out that the flowers they do pollinate (swamp lilies, voodoo lilies, etc) are known for being both eerily beautiful, and smelling like either rotting flesh, or feces.
    fyi

  2. Flies and maggots rid terrestrial ecosystems of more waste than any other scavenger, and do so more thoroughly and effectively. They prevent far more disease than they could ever possibly cause.

    They’re also a pretty massive and diverse group, most members of which would never bother a human being in the slightest, and the previous comment is incorrect. Flowers of all sorts are pollinated by flies. The primarily pollinator of cocoa is a fly.

    I also just tend to think everything about them is plain COOL, including the ones that bite people and puke on their hot dogs. They deserved a more interesting review than this. I’d have to give this review itself an F – – …..or possibly a G.

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